What to Do When Imposter Syndrome Makes You Feel Like You Don’t Belong [Monday Mindset]

What to Do When Imposter Syndrome Makes You Feel Like You Don’t Belong [Monday Mindset]

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Transcript
Laura Khalil:

Hey Friends Welcome to this episode of brave by design it is me your host, Laura Khalil, and a Happy Monday to you or whatever day of the week it is that you end up listening to this, I hope that you receive some inspiration in today's episode. For your week ahead, we're going to be talking all about imposter syndrome in today's episode, and what to do when you feel just like so small and insignificant, and like a phony. And I'm going to give you a really cool mindset shift for how to work through that. But before we get to that few announcements, one to all of you who have listened to the show. Thank you, if you have left us a five star review, thank you. And if you want to leave us a five star review on Apple podcasts, I just would love that. You can do that by heading over to Apple podcasts. Clicking on brave by design scrolling to the bottom and leaving us five stars or a written review. I love to read our reviews on the air. So if you want to leave one, be happy to read it next week. All right. And if you have been listening to the show, if you love the show, and you're like I think I'd like a little bit more Laura in my life,

Unknown:

I'm going to tell you about a

Laura Khalil:

couple of opportunities that are coming up where you can hear me speaking, the first opportunity is at the Detroit podcast festival. This is happening in mid October, I will be speaking on October 18. So if anyone here is listening, and who has said, I'd like to start a podcast, or I have a podcast? or How did Laura take this podcast from zero to 112 on the apple podcast career section within three months. That's what I will be talking about in an hour of jam packed information for you. So if you want to learn more about podcasting, definitely check out the Detroit podcast festival. And come here we speak on October 18. Of course, when I say hear me speak, come hear me speak I mean on zoom, because it is all on zoom. So no matter where you are in the world, you can take advantage of that. Alright, the second thing I want to let you know, which is in a very different realm. But equally important, is for those of you who have heard and heard me talk in the past about the 21 day equity challenge put on by the United Way of Washington County, perhaps you've heard that episode, I am going to be on a panel on October 21. Speaking about the 21 day equity challenge with for the United Way. So if that is something that you're interested in, you can learn more about that at the United Way of Washtenaw County's website, sign up for that join in some of the focus groups that will be leading to take participants who have done the 21 day equity challenge through so I hope to see some of you for that because I know we have a lot of people who are listening to the show who do value diversity, equity inclusion in anti racism, as I'm sure if you don't know that I do. Well, now you do I really, really value those things are incredibly important to the future and functioning of our society and to treating all of our citizens fairly. So October 21, I hope to see some of you for that. Oh, okay, let's talk about what to do with imposter syndrome. What to do when you walk into a room, and you suddenly realize, Oh, shit, these people here might all be better than me. Who I'm sure you've had that feeling? Right. I'm sure you've had that feeling. I've had that feeling recently. In fact, over the summer, I decided to take a one woman show class. Some of you know that I love to do storytelling, obviously part of that's why I speak for a living and have this podcast. But I've always had this dream to do a one woman show. And as it so happened because of COVID one of these renowned schools in New York theater schools was offering virtual classes and I thought, well, boy, what time like the present to go do this.

Unknown:

So I

Laura Khalil:

had to apply to get into the class. I got accepted into the class, I show up on zoom. And, you know, we start going through our work now I'll tell you that first of all the teacher. He produces all of the work or a lot of the work or comedy specials you've seen on Netflix for a comedian named Mike Birbiglia. So that is his producer is our teacher. So I'm already like, Whoa, this guy is like lightyears ahead of me in terms of stage work and storytelling and you know, presenting the audiences. And then the class, we all go around, and we share our stories, and I hear people, you know, telling their stories, and I'm thinking, Oh, my goodness, they're really good. Oh, I'm not that good.

Unknown:

What am I gonna do? What if, what if I'm not good enough?

Laura Khalil:

Like, they're all so far ahead of me? And of course, you know, of course they are. They're all professionally trained actors, like, Where did I think I was going, you know, I'm in so I bring that up, because it really triggered imposter syndrome in me of Oh, I don't know that I should be here. I'm not good enough. I don't belong in this room. And I ever heard that from so many women and men that I work with who say similarly, so if you're in a situation, where you feel like you've walked into a room, or you've walked into a situation where you just realize, oh, my goodness, I feel like everyone here is like, way more accomplished than me. And I feel really like nervous and like I shouldn't be here. Here's the reframe. Here's what I want you to say to yourself, instead of I don't think I should be here, I want you to say to yourself, wow, I am in such good company. Let me repeat that for you. I am in such great company. That's Whoa, I was selected, you were selected. To walk into that room, to be someone who had a seat at the table. And look at all of these really accomplished people that I'm next to, I'm in really great company. The next thing you can say to yourself is I cannot wait to learn from them. I cannot wait to learn from them. And you know what, I might have something to share with them as well. These are two very, very simple, but very powerful techniques for reframing your imposter syndrome. You've heard me say it before. But it's worth saying, again, we all grow at the border of support and challenge. So if you walk into a room, and you're already the best, you're not going to learn from anyone there, there's no one to help challenge you to grow. That's why I always say you never want to be the best player in the band, you always want to be in a room with people who know more than you. Or at least some of them know more than you so that you can learn from them so that you can grow. If I'm if I'm around people, if I'm consistently hanging out with people that are worse than me, and I mean that subjectively but let's say you know, maybe they're not as accomplished in, you know, a particular area of life than I am, I'm not going to learn anything from them. So you have to put yourself in situations where it feels a little bit uncomfortable. And that challenge, combined with the support you're going to receive is going to help you grow. But if you're not challenged, you're not going to grow. We all grow right at that border of support and challenge. So it's really good to feel uncomfortable. because really what that is, is Oh, I'm going to learn something here. Oh, I think I'm going to level up my game hanging out with these people. I can't wait for that. I feel so honored to be in the room with these people and to have a seat at this table. I cannot wait. Take that anxiety and flip it into excitement. Okay. That is one very, very powerful way to begin to reframe your imposter syndrome. Friends if you like this episode of brave by design, head on over to Apple podcasts, give us five stars, or feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn or on Instagram at I am brave by design. Until next week. Stay brave